IT PAYS is an acronym standing for I Teach Positive Attitudes in Youth Sports.  IT PAYS is also the name of a program which attempts to insure a wholesome environment in which children can enjoy ice hockey, learn its rules, and develop their skills toward a lifetime of enjoyment in and appreciation for the sport.

The goals of IT PAYS are:

1.      To continue to provide children with an opportunity to have fun and learn life lessons in a wholesome environment through ice hockey.

2.      Provide children with an opportunity to develop their athleticism and skill.

3.      Provide parents with guidance as to the role of youth sports in general and ice hockey in particular and assist them in being able to use youth sports as a parenting vehicle for teaching life lessons.

4.      Provide adults with guidelines and assistance to enable them to develop leadership skills to coach, administrate, and referee youth ice hockey programs in a responsible and wholesome manner that puts the needs and aspirations of the participants first.

5.      Provide a mechanism to report and encourage, commend, and reinforce positive conduct by players, coaches, referees, or administrators.

6.      Provide a mechanism to report, correct and or eliminate behaviors by players, coaches, referees, administrators, and parents that are inappropriate to the goals and aims of youth sports.

7.      Eliminate the idea that scores should or can be settled in the tunnels or the lobbies, either by players, coaches, or parents by confrontational or violent means.

IT PAYS’ goals do not include:

1.  Taking away any of the competitive nature of the game itself.

2.  Taking away anyone's right to direct their child to the developmental path of their choosing.

3.  Limiting any child’s developmental path by limiting the number of games played, the level of competition, the practice-to-games ratio, or the length or timing of the season.

4.  Limiting a child’s dreams by pointing out that the odds are too great to be successful.

5.  Changing a single rule of the sport.  The sport is fine as it is.

Participating in IT PAYS should result in conduct by participants, coaches, officials, administrators, parents, and spectators that:

·        Respects the rules of the game.

·        Respects the opponents as worthy competitors.

·        Respects the decisions of the officials.

·        Gives every player the opportunity to participate equally.

·        Maintains self-control.

The elements of IT PAYS are as follows:

1. A Contract to be entered into by coaches.
2. A Contract to be entered into by players.
3. A Contract to be entered into by parents of players.
4. A Contract to be entered into by the association.
5. A System of Assessing and Reporting IT PAYS conduct.
6. A Method of accessing a team’s assessments.
7. Assistance to Associations in the form of instructors and materials to improve teaching methods for coaches.

TOP  PARENT'S CONTRACT  PLAYER'S CONTRACT  ASSN CONTRACT  ANNOUNCEMENT  ASSESSMENT SHEET  PARENT'S PAMPHLET  COACH'S PAMPHLET

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COACHES’ CONTRACT

As a coach within the YOUR HOCKEY PROGRAM, my focus will be to ensure that players develop and refine their hockey and skating skills, play fair, work hard, build teamwork, have fun, and most importantly, learn to respect teammates, coaches, opponents, officials (and their decisions), and the game of hockey.

As a coach, I agree to abide by the following guidelines:

1.       I will actively encourage and support the concepts of IT PAYS by respecting the rules, respecting the opponents, respecting the officials and their decisions, giving every player the opportunity to participate equally, and maintain self-control at all times.

2.       I will be reasonable when scheduling games and practices, and remember that young athletes have other interest, responsibilities, and obligations.

3.        I agree that a child’s participation in ice hockey is a privilege and parents may feel it appropriate to limit their child’s participation if responsibilities such as participation in family matters or attention to school work are deemed more important.  I will support my players’ parents in these parental decisions.

4.       I will be organized and prepared for all practices and games to maximize and optimize all scheduled ice time.

5.       I will not be openly critical of any players on my team, opposing teams, officials, or other coaches.

6.       I will treat all players fairly and with respect, including essentially equal opportunity to participate in all phases of the game.

7.       I will respond to and be aware of all players’ safety and their needs.

8.       I will emphasize respect, teamwork, FUN, and attempt to build a love for the game within my players.

9.       I fully understand that our system is designed to serve the needs of the players first, and not to serve the coaches and/or parents.

10.   I will attempt to teach my players to work hard to win, but not to win at all costs.

11.   I will respect other coaches within our system and work with them to ensure maximum benefit to the players.

12.   If it becomes necessary to cut a player, I will do so in a meeting with the player and his or her parent(s).  I will explain candidly why the player did not make the team and will tell the player what must be done to improve his skills so he or she can improve his chances of making the team next time.

13.   I understand that inappropriate behavior on my part may lead to my team receiving unfavorable ratings in a national reporting system and that may preclude my team from participating in future events.

14.   I agree to abide by the rules, regulations, and decisions as set by our Association and its State and national counterparts.

Signature_____________________________________ Date

Team: _________________________________________

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PARENTS’ CONTRACT

All parents of players on teams within YOUR HOCKEY ASSOCIATION agree to abide by the following guidelines and ensure that friends/relatives who accompany them to the rink also follow these guidelines as applicable.

1.       I will encourage and support the concepts of IT PAYS at all times.  The concepts are:

a.       Respecting the rules

b.       Respecting the opponents

c.       Respecting the officials and their decisions

d.       Giving every participant every player the opportunity to participate equally

e.       Maintaining self-control at all times.

2.       I will remember that my child plays hockey for his or her enjoyment, not mine.

3.       I will never ridicule or yell at my child for making a mistake or losing a game.

4.       I will remember that children learn by example.  I will applaud good plays and performances by both my child’s team and their opponents.

5.       I will respect and show appreciation for the volunteers who give their time to hockey for my child.

6.       I will ensure that players are at the assigned rink at an appropriate time so that pre-game and pre-practice preparations can be done in a timely manner.

7.       I will remember that the locker room is where the team prepares for a game and not a place for me to hang out or give instruction.

8.       I will make every reasonable effort to have my child attend all scheduled practices and games and I will contact the team manager or coach if my child is unable to attend for any reason.

9.       I will leave the coaching to the coaching staff and not interfere with or undermine the coach(es) at any time.  I will not encourage my child to play in a manner inconsistent with the coaches’ direction or plan.

10.  I will communicate any and all concerns to the team manager, not directly to the coaching staff.  The manager will schedule a meeting between the parents and coaching staff if necessary.

11.   I will be expected to participate in required team fund raising.

12.  I will attend any team meetings or special function that may be scheduled and ensure that my child does, as well, if required.

13.   I agree that playing ice hockey is a privilege and as a parent I may feel it appropriate to limit my child’s participation if responsibilities such as participation in family matters or attention to schoolwork are deemed more important.  I will inform my child’s coach promptly if such is the case and can expect his support. 

14.   I will not permit my child to compete without complete and safe equipment.

15. I understand that inappropriate behavior on my part my lead to my team receiving unfavorable ratings in a national reporting system and that may preclude my team from participating in events in the future.

16.   I agree to abide by the rules, regulations, and decisions of our Association.

17.   Signature: ______________________________________ Date

18.   Team: __________________________________________

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PLAYER’S CONTRACT

All players on the PLAYER’S TEAM of the YOUR HOCKEY ASSOCIATION agree to abide by the following rules:

1. I will follow the rules of IT PAYS:
   1. I will play by the rules of the game and in the spirit of the game.
   2. I will respect my opponents
   3. I will respect the officials and their decisions,
   4. I understand everyone will be given an equal opportunity to participate
   5. I will maintain self-control at all times.  Fighting or “mouthing off” can spoil the activity of everyone.
2. I am on a team and will be a true team player.
3. Winning isn’t everything.  Having fun, improving my skills, doing my best, and making friends IS everything.
4. I will respect and acknowledge all good play – those of my teammates and my opponents.
5. I will remember that both scoring a goal and getting scored on is the result of a team effort, acknowledging those who assist me and sharing the responsibility for goals scored by the opposition or bad team play.
6. I will be respectful of my coach and listen and follow his instruction
7. Hockey is fun, but school is more important.
8. I understand that playing hockey is a privilege.  There may be times when my parents will determine that my responsibilities to family matters or schoolwork  will be more important than hockey and they may limit my participation in hockey.  I understand my coach will support my parents’ decisions for my wellbeing. 
9. I understand that as a player, I represent the YOUR HOCKEY ASSOCIATION.  I agree if I am found to break the law, including but not limited to smoking and consuming alcohol or drugs, I may be expelled from the Association.
10. I understand that inappropriate conduct on my part may lead to my team receiving unfavorable ratings in a national reporting system that may preclude my team from participating in events in the future.
11. I agree to abide by the rules, regulations, and decisions as set by our Association.

Signature: _______________________________    DATE____________

TEAM: __________________________________

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ASSOCIATION’S CONTRACT/GUIDELINES

Participating in Ice Hockey (the Game), whether as a player, coach, official, or spectator, is becoming increasingly less enjoyable.  Media reports of hockey related incidents, ranging from cheating to sexual abuse and murder, give the sport a black eye and a bad reputation.  People are leaving the sport for the wrong reasons and with bad memories.  The conduct of spectators, coaches, officials, and players is increasingly unacceptable, both on and off the ice.

The YOUR HOCKEY ASSOCIATION views the IT PAYS program as support and confirmation of the many excellent volunteers, coaches, officials, and parents who are in the vast majority and who practice and subscribe to the fundamental principles of good sportsmanship, fun, respect and positive development of the Game.  We see the IT PAYS program as a vehicle to assist them to further these values and make the Game even better and more enjoyable.  We see IT PAYS as a celebration of the positive elements of the game that will overwhelm those negative elements or incidents that at times taint the reputation of the Game today.  While some will question this program, we believe this is not a time to be defensive, but rather offensive and proactive in advocating a program that is totally positive.  We encourage the majority to confidently come forward with affirmation and support the IT PAYS program to make our Game better and our children’s participation in it more wholesome and enjoyable.

To that end, we adopt the IT PAYS program which will play a significant role to assist us in the development of a young person’s values, morals, social maturity, physical and mental fitness.  It is our goal to promote acceptable conduct which includes:

• Respect for persons.
• Protection from harm.
• Development of ethical conduct toward others.
• Ideas of justice, fairness, and equity.
• Caring attitudes.
• Freedom to enjoy, to flourish, to grow, to improve.
• Respect for the game.

Therefore, it is a requirement that every participant abide by the rules and guidelines of the IT PAYS program.  A participant is defined as (but not limited to) a player, coach, official, administrator, or spectator.

The IT PAYS program is not intended to be a new process for complaints about officiating, or the rules of the game.  The objective is to promote and insure acceptable behavior by participants.

The YOUR HOCKEY ASSOCIATION will insist on the following requirements:

• Every player will be required to sign the PLAYERS’ CONTRACT as a condition of participation.

• Every coach will be required to sign the COACH’S CONTRACT as a condition of participation.

• Every parent will be required to sign the PARENT’S CONTRACT as a condition of their child’s participation.

• Every game will be preceded by the reading of the Pre-Game IT PAYS ANNOUNCEMENT.

• Every team will have an IT PAYS ASSESSMENT ASSOCIATE who will report on the conduct of the participants at each game to the national IT PAYS Assessment On-Line Site.

ON-ICE OFFICIALS will turn in an IT PAYS TEAM ASSESSMENT SHEET to a league official who will report the assessment on the national IT PAYS Assessment On-Line Site

The YOUR HOCKEY ASSOCIATION will conduct a pre-scheduling assessment of all potential opposing teams or tournaments they participate in outside of your Association to determine if the opponents meet the criterion of IT PAYS or a similar program.

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PRE-GAME IT PAYS ANNOUNCEMENT

This announcement will be read over the public address system of the arena before each game:

“Good (Morning/Afternoon/Evening) Ladies and Gentlemen(Hockey Fans).  Welcome to (This morning’s/afternoon’s/ evening’s/today’s) game between ____________________ and _______________________.

“These are young hockey players who are playing here this (morning/afternoon/ evening/today).  They are friendly rivals as members of opposing teams.  They are not enemies.

“The coaches for this (this morning’s/afternoon’s/ evening’s/today’s) game are _____________ and _________________.  They have volunteered to accept the challenge of teaching the skills of this great game and the highest ideals of sportsmanship.  We are appreciative of their willingness to give of themselves to enhance the lives our children through ice hockey.

“The on-ice officials are _____________ and _______________.  These individuals have been assigned to administer the rules of the game.  Their training, experience, and integrity qualify them for their role in this game.  Without them, we couldn’t conduct this contest. We will all accord them the respect due anyone placed in a similar position of authority.

“On behalf of YOUR ASSOCIATION, enjoy this competition and the great game of hockey.”

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TEAM ASSESSMENT SHEET

TEAM ASSESSMENT ADMINISTRATOR and ON ICE OFFICIALS:  Please check the appropriate boxes it relates to your opponent’s team.  Feel free to comment on the game if the boxes are inadequate to report the game.  Please try to be as fair as possible in your assessment.

TEAM:________________________________   DATE  _______________

ARENA_________________________  OPPONENTS__________________________

Evaluated by: _____________________________________

PLAYER CONDUCT ON THE ICE:  In my opinion, there were players on this team that...

PLAYER BEHAVIOR OFF THE ICE:  In my opinion, there were players on this team...

COACHES:  In my opinion the coaches on this team...

PARENTS: In my opinion the parents of players on this team...

Note of exemplary or egregious conduct_________________________________________________________________

________________________________________________________________________________________________

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So Your Son Wants to Play in the NHL?

A message to the parents of youth hockey players

From Dan Bylsma

Playing in the NHL was my fantasy when I was a youngster playing hockey.  I used to pretend I was Wayne Gretzky and had a penalty shot against Tony Esposito (really my brother Greg) to win the Stanley Cup (and to be candid, winning the Stanley Cup is still a dream of mine).  Sometimes I did win the Stanley Cup; sometimes I didn’t.  And the times I didn’t, I’d ask for “two out of three?”

The games of childhood are wonderful pastimes and provide excellent opportunities for parents to teach life lessons.  For children, youth sports are great socializing mediums.  Participants meet new people, make new friends, learn teamwork, and learn to play by the rules.  Sports are also beneficial physically.  Players improve their athleticism as well as their fitness.  And perhaps the most important reason for playing youth sports is to have fun.  While playing the game I love professionally is a dream come true, I still to it for fun.

Youth sports also provide great opportunities to teach life lessons.  One of these lessons are that taking advice and coaching from someone who knows more than you or has more experience can help you avoid unforeseen pitfalls.  Other life lessons are that violating the rules of the game can have undesirable consequences just like breaking the rules in life.  Those who work hard at what they do usually improve their skills and enjoy the success that comes with that.  Perseverance is an important ingredient in attaining goals.  More things can be accomplished by a group of people with a common goal than an individual working alone.  And some times unfair things happen in sports, just like in life.

Sports is a microcosm of life that can and does provide many opportunities for parents to teach life lessons using the examples that youth sports provide in nearly every contest.  For all its inherent good, many recent developments in youth sports are very disturbing.  There are the well publicized instances of cheating, abuse, assaults, and even murder.  But these are only the tip of the iceberg.  The sport is having an ever increasing difficulty attracting and keeping officials because of verbal abuse and assaults by coaches and parents.  Skilled players are leaving the game because of violent play by bigger, less skilled players who are instructed to “take them out” instead of improving their own level of play to compete successfully.  A win-at-all-cost mentality demeans less skilled players who may rarely see ice time in the third periods of close games – which ironically impacts their ability to improve.

Sadly, some parents have taken the fun out of the game for their children by exerting too much pressure, being too critical and demeaning, and being too vocal in an inappropriate way.  The consequences of losing sight of the purpose of youth sports is that the life lessons that are being taught are less than wholesome and sometimes destructive.

My father and I began the IT PAYS initiative in an effort to help and support the vast majority of children and their parents who do have youth hockey in its proper perspective.  Besides supporting these people, other compelling reasons for IT PAYS are that there are studies that conclusively show that youth hockey programs and tournaments that are run under an IT PAYS type of system, among other things 1) have fewer injuries,  2) attract more players, 3) retain players in the game longer, and 4) have an easier time attracting outside sponsors.  These benefits should be welcome news for all of us.

We hope all parents will, each year, take a moment to reflect on this pamphlet  and the proper role of youth sports.  We also hope you will join the majority of parents and coaches who are using the sport for the purposes for which it was intended – for your player have fun, to develop his or her athleticism, and to learn life lessons.

So please don’t be an Elsie Pea (that’s my name for L.L.C.P. or Loud Critical Pushy Parent).  Instead join and support IT PAYS.  We hope you will encourage your player to participate in the great game of ice hockey for the fun of it and that you will use the experience to teach life lessons.  These life lessons will be invaluable if your child doesn’t make it to the NHL.  And believe me, even more important if he or she does.

Dan Bylsma

Note: Dan Bylsma has played in over 350 games in the NHL and is currently an Assistant Captain of the Mighty Ducks of Anaheim.  He has co-authored three books with his father, So Your Son Wants to Play in the NHL, Sleeping Bear Press, 1998,  So You Want to Play In the NHL,  Contemporary/McGraw-Hill, 2000, and Pitcher’s Hands is OUT!  River Road Publications, 2001.  He has made many TV, radio, and personal appearances on the subject of the proper role of youth athletics, maintains an extensive web site (www.DanBylsma.com), and publishes a monthly newsletter for young hockey players, their coaches, and their parents.

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So You’re Going to Coach My Grandchild?

A message to coaches from Jay M. Bylsma

I’m so grateful that you’ve volunteered to be the coach of my grandchild’s ice hockey team.  I’m getting a bit too old to be out on the ice with these young kids and without you volunteering, it’s possible my Bryan wouldn’t have an opportunity to play this wonderful game that’s meant so much to his father and uncles and myself.

My Bryan made it through tryouts.  You might have thought that the tryouts were to see whether or not Bryan was good enough to make your team.  That wasn’t it at all.  It was to see if you were good enough to be entrusted with my grandchild.  You see, I don’t really care if you know much about hockey, or whether you have a winning record.  I don’t know or care if you’ve ever coached a kid that made it the NHL, or Division  I college hockey, or even high school.  But I know that every  one of the kids you coach will have a life to lead after hockey.  You will coach far more doctors and lawyers than professional hockey players.  So I’m more interested in what kind of a role model you are and your ability to teach Bryan life lessons than whether you can teach him the left wing lock or backwards crossovers.

Let me explain why I don’t care if you have a winning record.  Think back over all the games you played in organized sports as a kid - any and all the sports.  Can you remember any of the scores of any of those games or even if you won or lost?  If you’re like me you can’t remember many - if even one.  But I can remember every coach I ever had.  Mr. Sterkenberg, Mr. Naerebout, Mr. VanderMey, and others.  I can even picture them in my mind.  Images of good men who taught me (whether they knew it or not) sportsmanship, integrity, to play by the rules, and to have fun.  They made a lasting impression on me, just as you will have a lasting impression on my little Bryan.  But apparently winning wasn’t important enough for me to remember.  Bryan hasn’t been enrolled in the youth hockey program to win.  He’s been enrolled to have fun, to increase his athleticism, and to learn life lessons.

What kind of a lasting impression will you have?  You are his coach, a position just bit lower than the angels.  He will hang on your every word.  He will skate into the boards for you.  He will never forget you as you’ve never forgotten your coaches.  And he will learn from you, perhaps as much by what you do as what you say. You are the potter and Bryan is the clay.

• For example, if you pick your team based on talent and ability you will show Bryan that talent and ability are the criteria that a person needs to be successful.  If you pick your team based on the associations you have – that is, your GM’s kid gets to play, your brother-in-law’s kid is on the power play - each regardless of ability – you will show Bryan that you get ahead in life by who you know, accomplishment and achievement don’t count for as much as connections.

• If you tell the kids, “Every one pays equally, everyone plays equally” and then only some kids get on the power play and play in the third period, you influence kids about the meaning of honesty and deception.
• If you say disparaging remarks about the other team, the other coach, or the officials, you demean the game and incidentally yourself and you teach Bryan that it’s okay - perhaps even manly - to be disrespectful and pejorative.
• If you need to put ringers on your team to be competitive in an out-of-town tournament, you are influencing your players about your standard of honesty and the importance of winning at the cost of your integrity.
• If you say a disparaging remark about education, you may depreciate the value of education – this in a sport where if you aspire to play at a higher level, good grades may be as - or more important than - your hockey skill.

Your demeanor, your language, your deportment, your values, your aspirations, your character becomes the role model.  You are the potter, Bryan is the clay.

You see, I don’t even think this is about hockey at all.  It’s about teaching Bryan life lessons.  It’s about re-enforcing the lessons he learns at home.  Hockey is just the blossom we use to attract the bees.  And we attract the bees to teach them to respect the game, to respect their opponents as worthy competitors, to respect the officials and their decisions, to teach them fairness, and how to main self-control.

If he’s a good player, I hope you won’t aggrandize him or over use him but help him be a team player.  If he’s a poor player, I hope you won’t demean him but give him his fair share of ice time and help him become a better player.  I hope you will remember he’s just a child and your career as a coach isn’t riding on his back.  I hope you will remember that a word of encouragement after a mistake is worth more than a pile of praise after a success.

My son Dan and I started the IT PAYS initiative because for all its inherent good, changes in youth sports are very disturbing to us.  There are the well publicized instances of cheating, abuse, assaults, and even murder.  But these are only the tip of the iceberg.  The sport is having ever increasing difficulty attracting and keeping officials because of verbal abuse and assaults by coaches and parents.  Skilled players are leaving the game because of violent play by bigger less skilled players who are instructed “take them out” instead of improving their own level of play to compete successfully.  A win-at-a-cost mentality demeans less skilled players who may rarely see ice time in the third periods of close games – which ironically impacts their ability to improve.

Sadly, some coaches have taken the fun out of the game for the children by exerting too much pressure, being too critical, being demeaning, and being too vocal in an inappropriate way.  The consequences of losing sight of the purpose of youth sports – that is as a game of childhood, a wonderful pastime – is that the life lessons that are being taught are less than wholesome and sometimes destructive.

Dan and I hope that you will wholeheartedly continue to support goals of IT PAYS – for the good of this great game, for its reputation, and for the positive influence we hope you’ll have on the child we entrusted to you.

Jay M. Bylsma

Note: Jay M. Bylsma is the father of three sons who played college hockey including Dan who has played in over 320 games in the NHL and is currently the Assistant Captain of the Mighty Ducks of Anaheim.  He has also coached youth hockey teams from Mites to Juniors.  He has co-authored three books with Dan, So Your Son Wants to Play in the NHL, Sleeping Bear Press, 1998, So You Want to Play In the NHL,  Contemporary/McGraw-Hill, 2000, and Pitcher’s Hands is OUT!,  River Road Publications, 2001.  He has made many TV, radio, and personal appearances on the subject of the proper role of youth athletics, with Dan maintains an extensive web site (www.DanBylsma.com), and publishes a monthly newsletter for young hockey players, their coaches and their parents.  Bryan is Dan’s little son.

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Public comments are invited and can be addressed to Comments@DanBylsma.com

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