Dan’s Tip of the Month for Kids...

 “The confidence of success often brings actual success along with it.”  Sigmund Freud

 Just like it is for every professional player, this can be the time for trying out for a new team or beginning to play for a new team or new coach.  If you’re like me, you’re nervous, anxious and maybe scared out of your wits.   I have three suggestions that may help you:

 First: Psychologists (people who study human behavior) tell us that we perform better if we’re a little anxious about doing well.  So being a little scared or anxious is actually a good thing.

 Second: I want share a secret with you.  Of the 50 or so guys that attend each NHL training camp every fall, 75% of the guys attending have exactly the same feelings that you have.  I’ve had them every fall and I’ve gone to eight NHL camps.  So you’re not the only one with feelings of anxiety about tryouts or playing for a new team.

 Third: So how do you overcome the anxiety of not doing your best, of not being good enough, of failure?  It’s by becoming confident.  Well, you might say, how do I change anxiety into confidence?  By preparation!

 Preparation means hard work, practice, and then more hard work and more practice.  For example, in school you know there will be a test coming up on the math material you’re presently studying.  You can pay attention in class, be diligent in completing your homework assignments, and perhaps do all the math problems even if your teacher only assigns the even-numbered ones.  You can ask your teacher or parents questions if you are uncertain about some of the material.  If you do that, you may still be anxious about the test, but you’ll have gained some confidence that you’ve done what you could to do your best on it. 

 Suppose you’ve played for the A team in your hockey league and some of your teammates are going to try out for the AA team.  Since you want to play at the highest level you can, or maybe just because you want to continue to play with your friends, you want to make the AA team, too.  So you have to give yourself a chance to make it and the confidence that you can make it.  You make sure you are in condition.  You work on those parts of the game you need to improve.  You skate or roller blade every chance you get.  If you know part of the try out is a one-mile run, you be ready to run the mile in the best time you can.  You stick handle in your driveway with a tennis ball by the hour.  You work hard, you practice a lot, and you get prepared.

What happens when you’ve actually done over and over again what you will be called on to do on the test or in the tryout?  You come to believe, or have faith that you can do it.  That’s what confidence means (con – from the Latin word meaning “with”, and fides meaning “faith”).  This faith in yourself and your ability that comes from hard work and practice is confidence.  You’ll feel it, and others will see it in you.  And then, often a wonderful thing happens, as Sigmund Freud said a long time ago, “The confidence of success often brings actual success along with it”.  That is, if you believe you’ll be successful, often that will enable you to be successful.  

So if tryouts are in your future or playing for a new team or coach, and you’re scared you aren’t going to do well, now is the time to turn your anxiety into confidence by working hard and practicing hard.  Hard work and practice breeds confidence.  Confidence breeds success.  And if you can learn to overcome feelings of being nervous, anxious and maybe scared out of your wits when you’re a kid, it will be easier to handle scary situations when you are an adult.

 “Confidence doesn't come out of nowhere. It's a result of something... hours and days and weeks and years of constant work and dedication.”  Roger Staubach

DAN’S UPCOMING PUBLIC APPEARANCES

    - Saturday, August 19, 2000. I’m speaking along with Mike Knuble (Boston Bruins) at the Peninsular Club in Grand Rapids, MI.  Tickets are $75 each with the proceeds going to East Grand Rapids youth hockey.  There are still a few open seats.  Call Amy at 616-246-6355 to reserve your seats.

   - Sunday, August 20, 2000, at 6:00 p.m. My father and I are speaking about our new book in the parlor of Christ Community Church in Spring Lake, MI.  No charge for admission but a $3.00 contribution will get you a chance to win an autographed hockey stick. (There’s no evening services at CCC).

DAN’S HONOR ROLL

Those kids who understand one of the most important things necessary to make it to the NHL:

These kids understand that one of the most important things they can do to make it to the NHL is get good grades in school and have demonstrated out standing achievement, either by raising their grade point at least one full grade over last year or a 3.75 GPA or better:

(I hope all of you can make this list.  Email your accomplishment to me : name, grade, school and GPA)

Your Name Here??

PARENT TO PARENT—from JAY

“…this is a time when the coach and the team’s organization is ‘trying out’ as well.” 

As Dan indicates, this is the time your player’s anxious over tryouts or new teams or coaches.   Your son or daughter is being reviewed to see if he or she has the right stuff – is good enough – to make or play for this team or that.  What few parents realize and I’m sure not many coaches think about is that this is a time when the coach and the team’s organization is “trying out” as well. For a thoughtful parent, the team is also being reviewed to see if it is worthy – has the right philosophy, standards of fairness, degree of honesty, organizational skills, respect for the game, ability to teach the game, the kind of player attitudes - to be the team to which you’ll entrust your child to for the next nine months.

All too often, this “tryout” is overlooked, but it’s a more important tryout than the one your child is going through.  We encouraged our kids to play sports to have fun and because we thought it was a great tool to teach life lessons.   And a participant in youth sports will learn life lessons – many of them taught by the team, its coaches, management and players.   So it’s more important that this organization make your team, than it is for your child to make theirs.

So how do you judge the worthiness of a team to be entrusted to teach your child life lessons?  Some things Nancy (Dan’s Mom) and I thought were important to look for are:

-   Is the selection process done honestly?  That is, are players chosen for their ability or because of their parents’ position in the organization’s hierarchy?  But please remember if the coach’s has a son that plays – that leaves 15 other spots for your child. And if he doesn’t play, you might not have a coach/team.

-   Is the program’s philosophy in agreement with your own regarding things like player skill development vs. playing games, practice to games ratios, winning vs. playing for fun, learning skills vs. systems?

-   Are the coaches and management the kind of people you will feel comfortable hanging out with for the next nine months – i.e. “we don’t smoke and we don’t chew and we don’t date the girls who do”.

-   Are the kids on the team the kind of kids you want your child to associate with (have the same values regarding education, personal habits, etc.)

 You probably noticed that none of these criterion involve hockey.  That’s because I personally think the criterion mentioned are more important to your child’s learning life lessons then the importance of learning the subtleties of hockey.  Realistically not many coaches (myself included) know much about the sport – like the fundamentals of skating - and if your coach does that’s an added bonus.  Chances are your child will only play hockey for a few more years.  But the life lessons he learns from playing the game will be carried for the rest of his life.

THIS MONTH’S SAYING TO PUT IN YOUR LOCKER

“We are told that talent creates its own opportunities.  But it sometimes seems that intense desire creates not only its own opportunities, but its own talents.” Eric Hoffer

 

ABOUT ONE KID’S TRIP TO THE NHL—current installment  

You may be interested to know that next week I leave for a hockey camp.  This is a camp run by the coaching staff at the U. of M. in Ann Arbor for players who are professionals or who anticipate playing pro next season.  There will be some Red Wings, Bruins, Blues, and others.  It’s a chance to tune up on my conditioning and get some serious skating in before training camp. It’s mostly guys who live in Michigan or Ohio who play pro who attend.

I’m leaving for Anaheim on Labor Day.  That’s a few days early but I want to get settled in, meet my new teammates, and skate with them for a few days before camp starts.  

I’m really excited for this training camp.  In the past, I’ve always had to battle for a spot on the team so there was a lot of anxiety and uncertainty as you know if you read our book.  Often I would have to beat out another guy to win a spot.  This year I have spot with the Ducks - third line defensive forward/penalty killer.  Now someone has to beat me out for my spot and I don’t intend to let that happen.  The first exhibition game is September 16 against the Minnesota Wild. 

If this newsletter is well received and enough people think it’s worthwhile to continue, I’ll include dates and times for games on national TV so you can follow the Mighty Ducks.  I will be sporting #21.  That’s the number I wore all through juniors, college and the minors.  I feel it’s time to make a clean break with the Kings; so a new number, a new place to live (although I don’t have to move).  I’ve even taught little Bryan to quack.

So, the season begins anew for all of us.  I wish you the best.  Best as in do your best, be your best, and be in the best health.  And if you like the newsletter, let us know… maybe it’s a good idea?                                          

  Dan Bylsma  #21

DAN AND JAY’S BOOKS:

So Your Son Wants to Play In The NHL  Published in 1998 by Sleeping Bear Press in the US and McClelland & Stewart in Canada.  HC $24.95.  The story of Dan’s journey from the ice rink in our back yard to the NHL.  Autographed and personalized copies available at www.DanBylsma.com.

So You Want to Play In The NHL To be published in October, 2000, by NTC/Con- temporary Publishing Group.  Trade paperback—$14.95.  Thirty-five questions that aspiring young athletes have and Dan’s and Jay’s alternating answers. Forward by Luc Robitaille. Autographed copies available at www.DanBylsma.com after October 1^st. 

Pitcher’s Hands is Out    To be published in January, 2001 by River Road Publishing.  HC and Trade paperback.  A historical novel about what it was like to be a kid living in the Great Depression.  A baseball story.

Dan’s On the web

At www.DanBylsma.com