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DAN’S TIP OF THE MONTH FOR PLAYERS…
I
get a lot of letters from parents about your coaches.
They're usually concerned about your lack of ice time, not playing in
close games in the third period, or that the coach yells at you.
And while I know there are a lot of fine coaches in youth hockey, the
good ones are not the subject of the mail I get. And while
sometimes your parents have legitimate concerns, my father and I have
been around long enough to know there also are more than enough "hockey
parents" and hockey brats to go around. I address the issue of
some of the shortcomings of coaches later in this newsletter, but let's
talk about hockey brats in this section. Chances are if you
subscribe to my newsletter you're not a hockey brat, but perhaps you
know one and will pass this along to them, hmmm?
I've
played for a lot of coaches on a lot of different teams in the past
24 years. They range all the way from coaches who didn’t know a
lick about hockey and didn’t even own skates to a coach who is in the hockey
Hall of Fame and has almost as many Stanley Cup rings as he has
fingers. All of the good coaches had two things in common: they liked
to work with and help kids and young adults, and they liked to win.
These two characteristics usually work in
your favor. You need help and you like to win. So the relationship
between you and your coach is usually based on common goals. I’m not
saying that all coaches are good coaches. Nor am I saying that it’s
easy to get along with all coaches. But based on common goals, it
should be a good relationship. If it’s not, the first place to look is
in the mirror. If this is not the first coach who you
or your parents couldn't get along with, look really hard at
yourself. Perhaps you’re not doing the things that every coach likes,
or maybe you're doing some of the things the coach doesn’t like.
What are some of the things every coach
likes? You can put honest effort on the top of your list. And the list
will also contain things like these:
· an honest
effort when you
practice.
·
an
honest effort when you
play.
· being
courteous, that is: being on time, telling him in advance if you cannot
be at a game or practice, listening when he speaks.
· being
respectful of him, the officials, your teammates, and equipment, both
yours and theirs.
· being
coach-able by doing what he asks you, following his game plan,
and taking
suggestions to improve your game.
· being
in control by not taking retaliation penalties, coming off the ice
promptly when a line change is made on the fly, watching your temper and
your language.
· being
helpful by cleaning up your share of the tape balls
in the locker room after practice and
taking your turn at being water boy or picking up the pucks after
practice.
· being
selfless by passing the puck to a teammate on a 2-on-0 with an open net,
welcoming new players to the team, or correcting the score sheet if you are
credited with an assist that belongs to someone else.
· being
ready to play by having all your equipment, being sure your skates
sharpened, and having enough tape.
You can put all of the things on this list
into a simple rule: work very hard, play very hard, and be a gentleman
or lady as well (girls play hockey, too). Do these things and
chances are the coach will like and appreciate you and the contribution
you make to the team. Most likely, you will stand out from the me-first
attitudes that are so common in sports these days, and that will not go
unnoticed by the coach.
What are some of the things that
hockey brats do that coaches don’t like? Put
being lazy at the top of the list. My father
use to address lazy play by saying, “I don’t hear any music playing!”
What we knew he meant was that we were playing hockey, not going to a
public skate session where one can leisurely skate to waltz music. The
rest of the list would include these:
· being
discourteous by missing practice or a game without warning or
explanation or coming late.
· being
disrespectful by talking back to the coach, mocking a teammate or
opponent, mouthing off to the officials, or using foul language.
· not
accepting coaching by having your own game plan instead of the coach’s,
or whining when things don’t go the way you think they should go.
· being
undisciplined by being a puck hog, staying out a little or a lot longer
after the lines have changed (and cutting into the next guy’s shift),
taking bad penalties, or not being in control of your temper or your
tongue.
· being
a slob by not cleaning up after yourself.
· neglecting
your equipment and being careless with the equipment of others.
· being
unprepared by not having enough tape, needing to get your skates
sharpened ten minutes before game time, or forgetting some of your
equipment.
You can condense all
these things on this list
into a simple rule, too: be a lazy, inconsiderate jerk. The reason
coaches dislike the kind of behavior listed in this second list is because
it goes against the reason they coach in the first place: to help kids
and to win. The kinds of kids who do the things on the second list
usually don’t want any help and this kind of behavior often prevents the
team from winning. Furthermore, having one inconsiderate player on a team
can diminish the fun for everyone else.
It may be possible that you have all the
good characteristics on the first list and your coach still doesn’t
appreciate you or you have
a hard time getting along with him. There are some coaches whose
behavior we can find on the second list. But I believe those are the
rare exceptions. And the good thing about it is you will only have them
for one or two years, and it shouldn’t be an excuse for holding up your
career.
But if you really can't
get along with the coach, and particularly if this is the second
coach you or your parents are having trouble with,
it may be because you do some of the things on the second list. If
that’s even partially true, I’m not sure you're
someone I’d like to coach or play with either.
If you would like to
print out a TO DO LIST and a DO DON'T LIST as a reminder of what coaches like and don't like -
click here.
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